As an only child, my connotation of the words brother, sister, and sibling have been cultivated by examples from literature, movies/television, and real-world witnessing. While there are instances of poor sibling relationships throughout every genre, the “bad” brother or sister seems to be the exception that proves the rule of familial love, loyalty, and devotion. Your sibling is the one to protect you, to keep your secrets, to want the best for you, and is the only person who really knows what it was like for you to grow up the way you did. Siblings don’t need to know your why, they are just on your side. And to me, the most beautiful thing about brother or sister is the no strings attached love. The complications that can arise from friendships dappled with attraction are absent in sibling relationships. In my outsider-looking-in perspective, I see these relationships as love made simple. Even in instances where there is competition or jealousy, it’s love that throws a wrench in the spokes not the other way around. Because of this, love becomes dynamic. It’s the love that makes these relationships richer, deeper, and delightfully nuanced. They love unconditionally, barriers be damned.
You, dear protestors, are people who sacrifice your precious time to protect your sisters and siblings. You don’t know everyone’s why, and you don’t ask. You all may have a million different reasons yourselves to get out and speak up but the reasons are second to the collective outrage and disbelief. Ever since the over-turning (it’s crazy how it feels exactly like that- like before we were in tumultuousseas, but at least we were afloat- now we’ve been flipped over and dumped out with the sharks circling, bloodying the waters in a schadenfreude frenzy) I have been thankful for you all. I am thankful you speak for those of us who are unable, many powerless to articulate why exactly this is so bad. Why do they continue to go after the most vulnerable? Why do they have to kick her when she’s down?
This will be righted. It will be righted for many reasons, not least of which It Must. You have expressed what it means to be a brother, sister, or sibling. You are why those words are beautiful, and why those of us not fortunate enough to have our own large families, are able to look past biology and see the faces of brothers and sisters and siblings in the crowds of strangers. You help me to see better and be better. Thank you.
I’m sorry this hit, and hit you so hard. I’m sorry this came so violently and stole your voice. I’m sorry it feels like the others don’t know what you’re going through. I’m sorry they are trying to tell you you’re bad. Everyone who has been pregnant has mentally wrestled with motifs of life, death, stewardship, responsibility, and autonomy. We don’t believe you are bad, we don’t believe we have the right to judge you. We believe you have and must continue to make the right decisions for yourself.
Rest, and take care. You can heal and remain quiet (if you choose). This is such a personal issue and you don’t have to tell the world your story if you don’t want to. This is not one of those times where if you’re silent, the other will win, and it’s definitely not one of those where if you don’t speak with us you’re against us. When your voice returns we will welcome it with ours. Tomorrow might not be better than today, but the day after that could be, or the next. We are going towards better. Always. Even if it doesn’t feel like it. Even if from down here it looks like we are actively retreating from the right direction. We do need your voice, and we will all be better for it when you’re able, but until you are ready, be well. Our thoughts are with you, and whether seen or unseen, we will get through this together.