Sifting Through Spaces Between Storming Seas and Starry Skies Shelby Leigh's from sand to stars
by Blair E Vandehey
Reaching the safety of the shoreline in a stormy part of her life at the end of 2022 collection changing with the tides is only the first step of poet Shelby Leigh’s path to healing; she grapples with the uncertainty of what comes next once disaster has passed in her most recent collection from sand to stars. In three parts, Leigh sifts through her survivor existence for what she can salvage–leaving what she cannot behind with graceful apology–and takes her first steps away from the current that once dragged her down.
Though Leigh dedicates her work to those still finding their place in the world, from sand to stars truly has two dedications; it is for her as much as it is a lantern for other lost souls. In a note to the reader, she discusses the single capital letter she uses in this collection–“I.” Unlike in her two prior books, she says that no longer will she use its lower-case to shrink her voice. Instead, she promises herself in reclaiming its capital counterpart the space she once refused to take up.
The first part of from sand to stars, “sand,” is disembodied. Leigh’s liquidy stanzas are enjambed and evermoving, complimented by ambiguous “somedays,” “somethings,” and “someones” in her hoping for brighter days that might (but might not) be ahead. Even her reaffirmations to “you” about the future fall short of sincerity. It begs the question: Just who is she trying to convince everything is going to be okay? Though she speaks from her own voice, her smallness makes it seem as if she were speaking through a persona, especially after having read the dedication to herself just a page earlier.
As from sand to stars goes on, however, the adriftness begins to change as Leigh weaves the threads of her life back together. Just as its name suggests, “soil” sees Leigh re-grounding herself to reality. Unlike in “sand,” present-tense words begin to grow in her vocabulary as she speaks of healing, and she steps back from the previous part’s empty reaffirmations to take a more rooted look at her circumstances and current situation. By the end of “soil,” although it isn’t perfect, the hourglass is half full; Leigh’s path ahead, though shrouded in mist, is right there in front of her.
Using her newfound sense of direction, speaker and author realign in Leigh in “stars” as she reclaims “every day” and “all along” as the moments she has been staying, is staying, and will stay the strong woman she knows she is. For longtime Leigh readers, one might also recognize the nautical imagery throughout from sand to stars as a nod to who she once was in her prior collection changing with the tides.
While committing to finding her own strength, Leigh also acknowledges that the path to rediscovering oneself is anything but a “linear journey.” She stresses the importance of carrying not only the Leigh in “stars” into the future, but also the damaged Leigh of “sand,” and the blossoming Leigh of “soil.” Many contemporary poets attempt to escape from ‘broken’ versions of themselves in an attempt to purge weaknesses. However, in a poem about both the transience and unmovingness of her childhood home’s walls, Leigh, too, claims herself to be both painted over with vibrant newfound power while also owing her foundation to the girl she used to be, both moved on from and carried with.
There’s a fine line between selfishness and self-love. However, Leigh blurs the lines between the two in from sand to stars by advocating for selfishness as an act of self-love. To say her work is confessional is only part way to the truth; she makes it clear in “stars” that whether her book is read or not is irrelevant, and instead, just having spilled her words out of her mind and onto the page is enough. Put simply, Leigh is not looking for forgiveness from anyone but herself. In this sense, rather than a confession, from sand to stars is reminiscent of spring cleaning that we readers may or may not view through an open window; “sand” is her filling the room with everything there is to sort out, “soil” is her rolling up her sleeves and getting to work, and “stars” is her admiring organization that she has only herself to thank for. Though she hopes her words may also find resonance with others, it is not a requirement.
Leigh leaves her footprints behind on the beach in from sand to stars, taking with her from her past only what she can carry–while thanking what she chooses not take with her for shaping her into the woman she is now–and makes her way inward on the shoreline, having grounded herself on land once more.
Blair E. Vandehey is an Appleton-based writer, daydreamer, and lover al all things pop culture. She is currently working towards degree in Creative Writing and Political Science at Lawrence University.
